Am I afraid to die? I admit – yes I am. Why? Not because of the prospect that I may go to hell (well hmm.. I’m kinda afraid of that!), but because I will be leaving my family and loved ones behind.

I just lost an uncle today. He was and is still my most aggressive relative – he was frank, intimidating and shouted most of the time. But I admire him for that. He was the one who gave us free tickets to watch MBA (we were like piranhas during MBA season, and sadly MBA is not running anymore). He was a very good father – I can attest to that, sending his kids to school every morning and disciplined them as a good parent does. It’s sad news that he had to die young – 50+ years, and left his 12 year old son and 2 adult daughters.

This is the disadvantage of having a very big extended family. I grew in a compound with lots of relatives around and many many more in the surrounding area. Due to my sensitivity, when a relative dies, I hurt so much! Just this year, my grandmother and cousin died. I am so much afraid of the prospect of reaching next year, afraid of the possibilities of another of my family dying. Well, people say that is life, but yeah… that is life. I just have to accept that life does hurt from time to time. I just have to face death. Or shall I say, face the fact of death.

My condolence to my tito’s direct family. I salute you Tito Mario. You will always remain dear to our hearts.

I am scared. Scared to death. Well not really. I was just exaggerating. LOL.

I was recently invited by a classmate of mine in my masters class who is currently the dean of one of the universities here in Cebu to be a part-time teacher. Should I grab the opportunity?

To teach is not just a profession. It is a responsibility. I don’t want to teach just to earn money. Well, practically speaking, I really can earn money! Instead of just staying home after getting out of work, tapping on my keyboard, chatting with friends, surfing the net, or talking to Shobe (my rabbit), I should instead convert this time into “gold” .. or should I say “pesos”. Then I could save more!!! Wow, it’s like drifting into wonderland and imagining great things. Everything is too easy to say – but I should think before I decide. Teaching could take 4 hours of my day – which includes traveling from work to the university and back(not including the preparing of lesson plan and checking of papers). But this could really improve my personality (I really am looking forward to mingling with students and help them in my small meager ways), and fatten up my pockets!;) And I should be prepared. Being a teacher is not as easy as it sounds. I have to teach the right information and the essentials. Not just teaching for the heck of teaching. And I should be ready – not just mentally but also emotionally. Physically? Well I really don’t care as long as I get to reach the blackboard/whiteboard. Hahaha. I am yet to make my application letter(my resume’s always ready though). Heeeeelp! Elp..

I’m 60% decided. I’d appreciate any inputs. Or any experiences.

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The offer: computer science teacher – this could include C/Java basics, introduction to computer science concepts, and data structures. I look forward to teaching these things… but because of my “perfectionist” attitude, I’m kinda scared.

I just cannot sleep anymore. I really don’t know why. Maybe it’s because I’ve already slept for approximately 6 hours and my body is tired of sleeping. Wow! What good analysis! LOL.

I’m dreading the month of October. October is THE MONTH for me. Masters finals, project deadline and presentation, PhilNITS exams, and among other things… hmmm… My mom’s birthday, my bro’s bday…

I appreciate people who can save money. I used to be that kind of person who spent money when I had money, when I can afford the thing, not thinking of cheaper alternatives or something. But now that I am forced to save, it actually is not that difficult anymore. I just save on impulse, and find joy in keeping even a few pesos. It used to be very difficult at the start, but now, I’ve realized that if you keep “thinking cheap” everytime, later on things would turn out natural. Thinking ’bout it, if I limit my budget on food, then I wouldn’t have to buy the stuff my body craves the most (just the essentials), then I could put off weight! Imagine, losing weight and gaining money! *Yawn*

I see this ‘lil rat scurrying across the tv wires and having a fun time running on my housemates’ shoes. Eversince bert (the unofficial rat killer of our apartment) left our house, these little monsters have kept frequenting the trashcan. I have three options: to leave them free to roam our premises, to swat them myself, or buy a fly paper and lure them to it. I remember when bert killed one (by swatting it with his slippers), it was all too gory!!! And the smell of blood lingered the next day near the door! Eeeew. So the third option then. o_O

I got to go back to sleep. I need the sleep. I still need to sleep 3 more hours. Else, I would go on yawning at work later.

Good night to all the rats having fun while all people are asleep! LOL. *Yawn*

Why the title? I think it just.. rhymes. LOL. It does rhyme!  Friday afternoon, one and a half more and I’m out!  -> see the smiley face?

Well I dunno if I should be happy or not. I’ve been peering in codes the whole week.. been like a rat snooping into tunnels and hoping one tunnel will lead me to.. the cheese. And I’m hoping the cheese is still edible enough to eat.

Enough procrastination. I’ve just had enough. I guess procrastination can be one big, one major disease. It eats you slowly, and consumes you little by little – and it would be too late for you to realize things. Or not really too late. It just, consumes you, if you let it consume you. Know what I mean?

I just cannot talk ’bout technical stuff in this blog. Some may not be bored, but most will be. I’d rather bore you with my life. LOL. WordPress is real nice! True! I hope I discovered the wonders of this earlier… I was in another tunnel that time. But maybe, I’ll share technical stuff – sometimes. If it really is appropriate to spark a nice conversation and make sure people can truly relate with it.

Have you heard of this software IMVU? I was into answers.yahoo.com. Sometimes it can be pretty humorous. Try visit it and go the Family and Relationships category. Then you would see some funny funny questions. I’ve tried answering questions I could stomach – but some? Haha. See for yourself! And maybe you would realize you can have a career in counseling. Oh back to the topic. IMVU. I was asking in answers.yahoo.com if there is some sort of website or channel in IRC where I can talk to decent people. You know, just talk. [They answered! LOL. Pretty nonsense stuff at first]. Then this girl mentioned ’bout IMVU. It’s like.. yahoo messenger but in a virtual world. Not really with the full functionalities where you can walk around the room or around the environment. But you can talk! And change environments. You can sit on the cushions, on the table, on boxes, etc. You can wade on the pool, have some drinks on the bar.. And you can change outfits too! I found it cool at first but it really depends who you’re talking to. Even in reality, things can be pretty cool but you’ll be really bored if the person you’re with is so so.

They say this is my first post. This is not! I cannot count how many times I have already posted. I used to love writing that much. I still love writing but I don’t write as much as before anymore. I guess this can be a sort of comfort for me at times. Just conjuring words out of my thoughts. I guess I should stick to this thing. This thing – writing. I thank God for giving me the power – to make things – to make words, out of nothing. I guess this blog will be sort of a reflection of me – the real me. I know of people not wanting other people to know what’s going on in their personal lives – but I guess this could be a way of sharing and letting other people know what to do when they encounter such events, or at least also share a piece a piece of their minds and hearts – which I guess would be the best gifts they could give to me. I give you a gift, and you can give me one too! Criticize, laugh with me and just help me conjure things out of nothing. I guess it would be on heck of a ride!